Remembering Our Part

A few months ago I wrote Remembering.  What I had intended to write morphed into what I needed to write that day. But I've still wanted to go back and try it again ever since.

So.... take two:

As I mentioned in Remembering, the word Remember appears all over in the Book of Mormon. So much so that it really hit me during my 65 day reading challenge.

The more I pondered on it and its different significances, the more I felt the word ingrained on my heart. One significance which I already wrote about was God's Remembering Hannah (and each of us) and his promise to her to make her a mother. He remembered her. (as I know He will Remember me)

Another meaning that has grown in me is that Remembering is not a one-way street. We must Remember as well. There are many things we're asked to remember.

First and foremost, we're asked to Remember Him. Christ came to earth for us. He came and taught and loved and lived for us. Everything He did, He did as an example for us. He taught us how to find peace and happiness and he did it all to glorify His Father. Our Heavenly Father.

Then, if His teachings weren't enough, Jesus Christ performed the most unimaginable pain and anguish---physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Then gave His life on the cross so that He could rise again and make possible the resurrection to life eternal-- for each of us.

So God has promised He will Remember us (and He has proven that time and time again -- most especially through the Atonement).  And we are asked to Remember Jesus Christ.  Then, in connection to remembering Jesus Christ, we are asked to remember his teachings and commandments. We are asked to remember to do those things.

To do.

Remembering is not stagnant. It's not an individual occurrence. It's a life-long process of action and improvement.

Which brings me to a few things I've learned. (Do you remember how oh-so-human I am?) These things are what I've learned that I need to do. Everyone is different (which, by the way, may be one of the many reasons Christ taught in parables. While the principle we each learn is the same, we still may each glean that lesson in a different way or need to apply it a little differently depending on our life experiences).

Your brain can really only think about one thing at once. Which is why we don't go stir-crazy in our environments- like a student:   in a room with the florescent lights buzzing, pencils scratching, sniffing, the texture of your clothes, the hum of computers, the temperature, the whispering behind you, the tapping of a pencil next to you and then your own thoughts as you try to take a test.  Our brains- our bodies are designed to be able to block out unnecessary stimuli to help us focus on one thing.

While this is completely necessary to keep us sane (thank goodness for it...), it also makes us human and subject to forgetting.

We are told in the scriptures to pray continually. We're supposed to be faithful. We're supposed to think of the Savior. We're supposed to think of our family and our neighbors and pray for our enemies and do our visiting teaching and take care of our families and keep a house of order and attend church and meetings and read our scriptures and say our prayers....but pray continually.

It's a lot to remember. It's a lot to do. And it's hard for us to do it all- to remember it all.

So we each need to find ways or tricks to handle all of the important stuff so we don't miss out on what the Lord is trying to teach us.

Go back with me to 2012. Bryce and I had moved to Texas the year before and we were finally in a position to pursue, again, some fertility treatments. But I didn't know what doctor to go to or what route of treatment to even pursue. I was working full time and trying to remember all of those things I mentioned above....and failing at many of them but I was trying. During that time I had several notable spiritual, but seemingly every-day, experiences that lead me to the right doctor at the right time and got us started on our journey that we hoped would lead to parenthood. (by the way, I am absolutely sure that it was God who arranged the journey for us and though doing fertility treatments did not result in bringing a baby into our home, it was all necessary for our growth and I wouldn't change any of it).

I was keeping those experiences in my heart during our diagnosis and treatments. Then, I heard or recalled hearing, somewhere, that keeping a pen and paper on your nightstand so you can write down impressions, dreams or thoughts immediately when they happen can increase your spiritual sensitivity.

I had a running notebook for taking notes in church but didn't actually journal much in the way of every day experiences.  But after hearing that bit of advice, I placed that journal by my bed at night and in my purse during the day. Every chance I got, I was going back and recounting the experiences that I didn't want to forget. Because even by then I was forgetting small details.

As I continued to write and recount, I realized it was making me more spiritually sensitive, more thankful and more aware of the Lord in my life.

I was Remembering.

I forget so so easily. Ask me what I did last weekend. I probably won't remember or it will take me ten minutes to remember. So writing down the ways God has blessed me and writing down the miracles I'm seeing and the growth experiences I'm encountering is me showing the Lord that they matter to me. It's showing the Lord I want to Remember. That I want this life and these experiences to be written on my heart. I want to Remember.

Even most of my worst memories that some would think I wouldn't want to remember....I want to! I don't ever want to forget day I started losing our baby we had fought for for five years or the day it was over. Or the day I was diagnosed and told how hard conceiving and remaining pregnant would be for me. Or the day I miscarried again only to know that that was likely my last chance and I would need to come to terms with that. Or the days of pain with OHSS, walking the dark hall of my little house at 3am saying over and over "I'm calm and I'm ok. It's ok. I'm ok".

I don't want to forget those experiences. I want to remember them as much as I want to remember the days of miracles and blessings because the hard days are truly the days we're closest to our Heavenly Father. They're the days that are refining and purifying and that will make me into the woman He wants me to be.

I want to Remember.