I journal. A lot.
Not necessarily at lot at one time but I try extremely hard to write down at least a little every day and most especially to write things that strike me as extra important or the things I never want to forget.
Since bringing Tyson home, I've thought back on the days and months prior. Wondering what I was doing in the months of Kristy's pregnancy, what I was doing when he was born and what I was doing during the four months before he came home to us.
I've loved going back and reading my journal to find out those things. And more importantly, it's been revealing and enlightening to how God works in our lives and how he prepares us, or helps us prepare ourselves when we have no idea at the time.
Hindsight is 20/20....
There's an entry in my journal from February of 2015. It's the recollection of a dream I had had the night before. About a blonde headed baby boy, a few months old. He was placed in my arms and I held him and he clung to me. I looked at Bryce and he leaned in to kiss his head and the baby stretched to him and laid his little head on his chest while Bryce kept his arms around both of us. I woke with one of the sweetest feelings I had ever experienced.
Kristy was 7 months pregnant.
Then one day...on June 1st 2015 I felt a push to look online on Craigslist for a crib again. I had been eyeing a new one online for months and months and comparing and trying to decide when to do it.
During the seven years of trying to get pregnant and going back and forth with foster care and then with adoption, I never bought baby furniture. I always wanted to but could never do it.
But that day I felt that big push, got on Craigslist and saw the most beautiful PERFECT crib I had ever seen with a matching changing table and rocking chair. I died and went to heaven right then and there.
I bought it that day. Bryce was able to drive down to pick it up in the truck and I got to drive home behind him giddy out of my mind about setting up a nursery.
Several hours away, unbeknownst to us, this little guy was born two days prior :
A week later I found curtains I adored at an estate sale for $5.
Two months later, in August, I realized I had never made a baby boy quilt. Just lots of baby girls ones. I went back to Joann's and bought the fabric I had been eying.
That weekend as I started piecing it together, I got an email from a girl named Kristy who had given birth to a little baby boy two months prior.
After a few days, things didn't work out and she decided to continue parenting.
I finished the quilt and it went in the nursery front and center with the furniture and curtains.
These all may seem like small details to some. But the timing, for me, is inarguable. The Lord was helping me prepare. He was keeping me focused.
He was giving me hope.