{IVF: FET Cycle #2: Transfer Day!}

(This is Post #3. Because of past experience, I don't want someone not knowing because they didn't ready all of my posts so, 

We did not get pregnant this time. Our transfer that I'll be talking about here was 3 weeks ago so one week ago we got the pregnancy results from the office and it was negative. 

But like I said in a previous post, despite being unsuccessful, the whole process is still important to us and is something I'll never forget and always want to remember. 

Transfer Day: August 8th, 2013.

8:00AM in the waiting room.  

All dressed and ready and waiting with a full bladder! That's always the worst part. lol

This is what he did last time too! He refused to take off his shoes. It took him several minutes to fit those booties over his shoes. He was bound and determined. Makes me laugh so hard.

I love this man so much. Even during a nerve wracking experience he makes me smile and laugh with the simplest things. He kept pulling his hair net down around his face because it made me laugh. :)

Me trying to convince him to sit next to me for a picture.

Hoping to become parents soon! :)

Our embryologist came in and talked with us. He said our little embryo did wonderfully in the thawing process and with really big and strong. The dark cells in the middle that I'm pointing to are the baby cells. The cells around the very edges of the whole big circle are the placenta cells.

We were so excited to see our little one!!!

I had texted Tiecha on the way to the clinic to make sure she'd be around so she came and found us. :) It was so good to see her! She always makes everything better! We love her so much!!!

So I wanted to show you:

See how the whole embryo isn't a perfect circle like our last one? It's because it's already 'hatched' out of the egg. Up til just a few hours prior to the transfer/this picture, it was still in the enclosed shell. But once it's mature enough it hatches out, just like a birdie! :) So Carlos said it looked really strong and good.  We were proud parents!

The transfer went beautifully and Dr N said everything went smoothly and no problems. Bryce and I got to just sit (well, I was lying down and he sat) in our own room after and just held hands and talked for 30 minutes after the transfer. It was really nice. I love that time. It's so hopeful and happy!

I took this pic on the drive home. Bryce had brought his camping pillow for me to use in the car and I just leaned the seat back all the way and go to just chill the whole ride home. :)

So I took it easy for several days. I took two days off work for it and then had the weekend for extra rest. I ate healthy and drank lots of water. Did the horrible progesterone shots, took prenatal vitamins, baby aspirin etc every day. 

We prayed every day that if it was the Lord's will that we would have a successful pregnancy and that I'd be able to keep our little one safe in my tummy. 

We got to go to the temple two days before the pregnancy test. It was a beautiful day and such a nice time there. We did sealings and we felt such a strong spirit there. It's our favorite part of temple attendance--helping families become forever families. 

The entire process I just felt a lot of peace. Yes, physically I had a very hard time with the progesterone shots but I was calm about the process and about waiting for the results. I wasn't anxious or nervous really. I had a lot of thoughts about it. Wondering if we would get pregnant, wondering if we would miscarry or if we would finally get to keep this one. But I wasn't anxious. I felt at peace and Bryce did too.

So when we got the news that it was negative,

we were really surprised and I cried and we just.... were disappointed and sad. I kept thinking, at least we didn't miscarry. That feeling is worse...not a ton worse but still worse so we counted our blessings.

It's been a week now. 

I had my days. 

And now I have my moments. 

I know I don't always come across as faithful as I wish I was. 

I know I don't feel perfectly ok 100% of the time about it.

But every day is better than the last and we are so happy and grateful we still have one more beautiful embryo waiting for us. 

We've decided to take a break for a bit to to able to re-group physically, emotionally and spiritually. 

We need a break. I won't lie. 

So we're taking one. Not sure how long but we're taking one until we're ready again.

It's a hard thing to do actually. We don't love the idea of not continuing to put in 100% in trying again right away but I know it wouldn't be helpful. 

We need to heal.

So we will. :)