I'm tired of hearing these AMAZING women think of themselves as untalented, boring, not pretty, or not organized. I know I feel and say those things all the time. But no more. I'm turning over a new leaf and would love it if anyone would like to join me. (my other new leaf is that I'm not going to say the S*** word ANYMORE!!! bet you didn't know i say that!....except for my poor husband who is trying so hard to help me stop...)
I've come to realize in the last couple of weeks-from meeting a bunch of new people, particularly women, at school and church etc. - that when we feel embarrassed about something, we say, maybe to the person next to us, that we aren't good at whatever we're doing so that we can relieve the awkwardness we feel THINKING that the other person THINKS what we're doing is bad or not right or that they could do better. Really, I think this is another reason women say neg things about themselves--because they imagine the person next to them Thinking those things. ----For EXAMPLE: how right now i want to Apologize for my complicated wording
....Heck! it's my dang blog... i shouldn't feel the need to apologize to anyone for that. That's silly!
NOW, we could say, well what's wrong with that? what's so wrong for saying i'm bad at something when i really am??? WELL, let me tell you!!! You know how they say that our thoughts determine our words and our words determine our actions? Well that's what we're doing. We're reinforcing the idea that we ARE BAD AT something. How ridiculous is THAT??
It reminds me of when i started to draw. I know now that when i started, and showed dad that first self portrait i did from the bathroom mirror, it wasn't too great but i didn't know that. Dad suggested a few things that might help me to improve but he said i was doing GOOD. So i kept going. i kept working at it. and let me tell you, Now looking back?? .....since i just turned over this new leaf i'm Not going to continue that sentence but
let me just say that:
ITS a good thing i thought i was good at drawing and that Dad said i was good. I WOULDN"T have continued to try otherwise. Now, I can sell a drawing for over $200 if I want and I have my own website www.artlarue.com and business cards and I'm planning on getting my BFA (Bachelors of Fine Arts) in drawing and Painting. Who knew, you know?
ANYWAY, my point after my long ..thing, is that if i had been saying bad things or thinking bad things about my art i WOULD NOT have gotten to where i am now.
WHich is why i have to start being POSITIVE during my painting class instead of ..you know, not being.... lol. good one Reese.... (see i really should be saying we and all us women and whatever because really i'm just talking about myself....)
MY DANG BLOG....!!!
ok, anyway, I just want to be a more positive thinker. THE POWER OF THOUGHT. That's what we're going for....
AMEN girlfriend! You know what's extra obnoxious about doing that? We make the people around us feel OBLIGATED to compliment us, to say "no, no, you're doing great!" OR to put themselves down worse! My biggest example, which happens pretty much every time I go to somebody else's house or anybody comes to mine:
ReplyDelete"Sorry my house is such a mess."
"ARe you kidding? You should see MINE!"
"No, I've seen your house. This is really embarassing."
"No, mine is only clean when people come over because I know they're coming."
You know what I love? I love when I go to someone's messy house and they don't apologize for it! We should be proud of our messy houses, because the people that come can think, "well, at least my house isn't this messy." then they'll feel good about themselves! That might not make sense but I totally agree with you, Cherise! This is one of the things I'm trying to do emotionally--not apologize or feel guilty for my feelings. I want to join you and be nicer to myself about everything!
So, do you really say the S word? The real one? As in, "this computer is a piece of s***"? I confess that's my weakness. Not too often, but still...
It's so True! It made me crazy in high school when girls would talk about how fat they were when they were the same size as me. Sometimes, I just wanted to say, "yeah, you are fat" because I was so tired of telling girls how skinny they were. Of course I didn't, but I wanted to. I'm actually pretty good at complimenting myself if Im good at it, I'll be like, "cameron, look at this, I am so CLEVER." I think we all need that, to be able to look at what we do, and although it's probably not perfect, realize that we did it and it's awesome.
ReplyDeleteI am very surprised that you say the S word. Tsk tsk, good luck with that. You're fabulous, I'm fabulous, let's be honest, we're all fabulous!
here here!!my sis's all geniuses.
ReplyDeleteyup, i really do say it. Its cuz i started to say Shiz and then after a while in my head i started to think the real word. and now i say it. see what i mean? you think it....you'll eventually say or do it. geeze. but yeah bryce keeps me on my toes and i report to him everyday when he gets home so i know i will have to admit to it if i do. it's helping for sure.
ReplyDeleteDo I say negative things about myself? I don't think I do that . . . I don't do I?
ReplyDeleteJana you are so right! People who put themselves down just make everyone else uncomfortable.
I can't believe you guys swear! Ha! Although I guess yelling "shut up" at my kids isn't any better. (I swear I hardly ever do that!)
no chris i've never heard you say anything neg about yourself actually....wow. i want to be like YOU! :)
ReplyDeleteI loved this post - I soooo have this problem!
ReplyDeleteAt a youth fireside recently our bishop answered questions of the youth. One of those was how to get over the habit of swearing. Bishop said to sincerely pray to have the desire and the habit for those words to be removed. I used the same approach the opposite to pray for help keeping my house cleaner (my hubbys a perfectionist and gets upset when the house is dirty). It worked like a charm! Heavenly Father is so willing to give us help with whatever we stand in need of! (I have now used this approach in my prayers regarding many things in my life and I truly feel that things are better than they were just a short time ago!)
Good luck! And you are wonderful! If that is the worst thing you do.... you are doing really really great!