In my head

I had a weird (not bad-just weird) experience last night.

I picked up Bryce from work, we ran a couple errands, rented a movie, came home, put away groceries and started making dinner.

We set up the laptop at the end of the bed and ate dinner in bed (haha) while we watched and then snuggled through the rest of the movie. 

When the movie was over we put the laptop away and laid down to sleep. Bryce, of course, fell asleep super fast (except when he'd wake up because i was so restless...) but i couldn't sleep. 

After a while i got out of bed, picked up the dishes from dinner that had been left on the nightstand and brought them to the kitchen sink. Bryce didn't wake up this time and as i walked back to bed, i paused in out doorway. 

All the lights were out so the moonlight coming in through a couple small windows was all that helped me see. 

As i paused there, I don't know What the feeling was. I don't know if it was just Contentment or peace or something else but i just had this interesting feeling standing there looking into our bedroom and the spare bedroom from the kitchen while Bryce slept. 

I wish i could explain ... or even just understand WHAT it was... 

I think maybe a part of it was imagining the spare room with a little baby sleeping as soundly as my husband while I watched both in the moonlight. 

It may sound cheesy or something but it really wasn't. My writing is what makes it sound so-- you can't blame me; i live with the cheesiest person i've ever met. It's BOUND to rub off on me eventually! 

I think that for the first time in a long time, my soul felt quiet. My head is always so full of music lyrics or phrases i heard another person say in passing that repeat in my head for no reason. Or my endless lists of all i still haven't done or the things i'll need to remember the next day.   Instead my mind was silent. Just observing the way the light played so softly over the objects and furniture in my house....my house.

Maybe, also, that your perspective really changes--standing in your house with all the lights off. Nothing running, no one talking, no music on. The light just changes things so much. 

All i know is that it was an interesting moment. and really, i only stood there for about 30 seconds but it felt like a more profound 30 seconds than I've had in a long time. 

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On a CUTE newly married note:

First off, Bryce is very complimentary and always tells me thank you for everything i do. He says he loves me all the time and kisses me when he leaves. 

So i'm no stranger to all that. But yesterday evening, he just kept saying those things over and over. Just randomly.

 LIke in the middle of the movie and then yelling "cherise? ..... (me saying "yeah?")... I love you!!!" from the shower while i made dinner. Or while we were sitting together, he hugged me and said "i don't know why but i just Really Really want you to know that i love you and i'm really grateful for all you do for me".  Then while he fell asleep next to me, he just kept saying "i love you" out of no where. 

It was very *tender* and sweet and it makes me love him even more but i keep thinking about it...in a way that makes something in my head click but i don't know why. ...