Keeping the Sweet Memories

All these sweet beautiful moments when we shared the news with our family and friends are now just distant memories and seem so long ago. I'm trying not to be bitter. I'm trying not to let those wonderful moments become tainted by the heartache that came so soon after.

Miscarriages are sad. I have too many friends struggling with the same heartaches or similar ones. It can be so hard to understand the why's of something so utterly devastating and heartbreaking. 

But like our first miscarriage, we still have lots of beautiful memories and moments that preceded. We experienced heaven for a while and I thank my Heavenly Father for the opportunity we had to house a little one for a short while. To love it with all our hearts and give it every possible chance. 

When we told my family that we were pregnant, we sent one of these pics to their phone and called them within seconds so they would answer and then receive the pic once we had them on the phone. 

 Those are our boots. :) The baby boots in the middle I bought as soon as we found out we were pregnant. I figured they were the closest I would come to gender neutral, for boots at least.

(Notice: that's the Hope Quilt I made that the boots are sitting on. :)

It was so fun hearing each person scream and yell and cry. It was awesome. My face hurt from smiling.  Everyone has been so supportive of us. We've been completely surrounded by support.

It was always important to us to maintain some kind of normalcy (if it's possible) to our situation. Everyone knew we were doing IVF and when waiting on test results. There's no good way to hide that fact. As it is, I still had to lie through my teeth several times to give us some time to just know for ourselves. So it was important that we be able to have those moments when we announced the results. We wanted it to be special even though everyone knew results were coming.

For Bryce's family, we were able to tell them in person since we live so close. So I bought these cute little St. Patrick's day onesies. One for a boy and one for a girl. Bryce's birthday is on St. Patrick's day and we were going to have a birthday party for him at their house on Sunday. So I wrapped them up as a present for him to open in front of them. I bought them to fit a 5 month old because I would have been due in November so next St. Patrick's day our little one would be right around 5 months. 

So he opened them and showed them off and Briley still looked unsure so I just yelled "We're pregnant!" and she freaked. :) it was so fun. We got hugs and Briley asked if it was a boy or a girl so I had to explain that it would be a while. We called Grammy, Bria and Brock after to tell them the same way we told my family. Bria was the funnest (I'll admit) from his family. She screamed and yelled and told me how she was going to make so many adorable onesies for us. All about how awesome their aunt would be. hahahahaha! Love her.

At work, to tell the girls, I just stuck this on the back of my chair, rolled down the hall to where they all were and swiveled around. It was hilarious. I love them all so much. They've been so extremely supportive and loving to me through all of this. I've been so blessed to not only have wonderful family and friends but coworkers too that have been better to me than I deserve.

 Cheeser, right?