{IVF/FET #3: TRANSFER DAY!}

The night before transfer day I started thinking about everything we'd have to do the next day and I just felt...scared and anxious. 

By the morning of, I woke up at 5am and couldn't sleep and still felt anxious. But as I laid there thinking and remembering and praying, I recalled a conversation I had with my sister Jana. She had said emphatically "That little embryo belongs in your tummy. Your body is it's home and where it is meant to be!" 

Thinking on that and feeling the sun beginning to seep through my curtains into our bedroom, I realized that Today was the day! Today we would go get our baby and bring it home forever. 

So as I laid there next to the love of my life in our cozy little home a smile came to my face and I felt such gratitude to finally be here. All would be well. 

Per usual, when Bryce doesn't wake up before I want him to, I crawled carefully on top of him and hugged him tight and kissed his face all over until he started opening his eyes and I said "It's today honey! We get to go get our baby!" 

We got ready and I made sure to not use deodorant or hair spray or perfume. 

I got my slippers, of course. And my water. 

Before we left we prayed together and left the outcome in the Lord's hands. Then Bryce gave me a blessing in our home. It was beautiful and exactly what I needed. Tears tears tears. I love him so much. 

Don't love the pic but gotta do the classic here's hoping pic! (It's cute because Dr. N did the same thing when she walked into our room that day. :) 

This guy is pretty amazing. 

We went to IHop for a late breakfast and we just grinned at each other all morning. I made sure to drink lots of water. You have to have a full bladder for the transfer so they can see the uterus on the ultrasound during the procedure.  

Lori, you should be proud. He wears his pilot hat Everywhere! :) 

We got to the clinic and everyone, as always, was so amazing and sweet and rooting for us. We got lots of hugs. :) like my sexy gown? 

And here's our little one! Look beautiful! So perfect! Hasn't hatched yet- which is fine. They can transfer before or after they hatch, either way. (Our first had not hatched, second had hatched completely)

The biggest dark area near the bottom are the baby cells :D and the half circles around the outside are the placental cells. The very thin line around the very outside is the shell that keeps it so perfect round. Within a day of this pic, it will have hatched out of that shell and will soon after begin to attach itself to the uterine wall.

Dr Gurrero said that the thaw went perfectly and there's no cell degeneration and it looks perfect!  

The transfer went so completely perfectly. Better than the first two. Lots less pain/discomfort and Dr N was happy with how it went. 

I love just resting in our room after with Bryce because he just sits next to the bed and holds my hand and we whisper together about being mom and dad and this little one that we are going to give the best chance possible. 

So, it was a beautiful wonderful day! 

The Lord has seen is through so very much. We're so grateful that we were given such an amazing opportunity to do IVF (three frozen cycles!) it's been an amazing ride. One I would not trade for anything. Truly. 

No matter what happens now, it's in The Lord's hands and we trust that all will be well. He has seen us through everything this far and know He will continue to see us through whatever our future holds.

Yes, I have fears and worries (trust me, I have lots of them). We've already miscarried and had a failed cycle too... We know those are possibilities. 

But.... God has brought us here. I know this is what we were and are supposed to be doing. Whether its just for our experience only or if it is to be able to bring a spirit into this world....it's what has been and will be best for us. For me. For Bryce. For our marriage. 

I love what we have become because of the trials we have been through. I love what The Lord has made us into. He's been molding and shaping us for a long time. And if he's still not done, I understand. An artists work is never done. :) 

So now we wait. Wait and wait. And we'll see.