{Infertility: Hope}

This little guy is the Hope I wake up to every morning.  I bought him during our last IVF cycle. He plays a lullaby. :) 

He sits there all the time on top of my Hope Quilt and that sits on top of my Hope chest. 

It's filled with baby clothes, a diaper bag, baby books, a car seat cover, a couple more homemade baby quilts, the framed photos of our last two embryos... And lots more precious things I've collected over the last 5 years. 

Above that is this framed painting Bryce bought while on his mission in Madagascar. 

This is the other Hope I wake up to. Our Malagasy babies. We know they're waiting for us, or will be waiting in the next couple of years. They are just as much a part of my heart as a biological baby.

We hung this up soon after we got an answer to our prayers that we would most definitely be adopting our children from there some day. It's been a strength to my heart ever since. 

I'm so grateful for small things like these that give me that strength to hold on another day, another week, another month, another cycle... 

God is so merciful and loving! He knows exactly what Bryce and I need to survive and endure well this trial. 

Something I've been learning more and more is that He wants us to be happy despite our difficulties and heartaches. I don't believe that He expects us to never be sad or disappointed.  But He does desire happiness be part of our journey as well. 

Today is Sunday. I'm grateful for this day of rest. I'm excited to go to church and hear the hymns and feel His Spirit there. We were supposed to attend the temple yesterday but Bryce has been too sick so we had to put it off til next week. So I'm grateful for today. It will help buoy me up to handle the next 2 1/2 weeks. 

I love my life. I wouldn't trade one bit of it. I honestly wouldn't. Not even the infertility and all the crap that it comes with. This life was tailor-fit for me and everything we've been through has only strengthened us individually and strengthened our marriage.

 I'm so grateful.