{IVF/FET Round 3} Yes, ma'am!

That's right. We're starting up again and we're so happy to be pursuing our greatest dream again.

Yes, It's alot.
Alot of meds.
Alot of money.
Alot of reminders.
Alot of appointments.
Alot of needles.
But because of all of those alots, we have so very much hope.

Here's what's been happening to get this going:

First of all, for those who already knew what our original plans were: yes, they changed!
After IVF Round 2, we had decided that if it didn't work that we would save money and take a trip to Madagascar (Our 2nd greatest dream!). We figured since we had been through hell and back several times over the last year (IVF, OHSS, cancelled transfer, Miscarriage and failed FET cycle), we were ready to have an adventure together. So we had said we were going to take that trip in Spring 2014 and then come back and finish up our last 1st greatest adventure by going back for our last frozen 5 day old embryo.

That was our tentative plan. The whole time we both knew we might end up sticking with our 1st greatest adventure and save our 2nd for later. Do Mada another year. But it was really good for us to have something else to focus on for a couple of months and have something to cheer us up.
But November came and I think we both just knew we couldn't truly enjoy our dream trip to Madagascar while our last little one was waiting for us.
So, I emailed the clinic and we talked about dates. We were pretty disappointed. We would be out of town so much with the holidays, it just couldn't work. There are too many imperative appointments I'd be missing to make it work to start in November.
We waited until December, hoping that starting that month would push everything out far enough but then the week I'll be in Utah in January got in the way of an ultrasound appointment. But by this point we were both a little overwhelmed with the holidays anyway and my January trip was already in the works and I didn't want to cancel.

So we waited again. :)

Finally January came and I talked with the clinic again. Everything felt right this time and the dates worked out perfectly around my trips etc so we went for it and prayed hard.
They got me on BC right away, which I'll be on for a few weeks before starting Lupron injections. And I scheduled my sonohysterogram.
We were praying pretty hard. This is our last little embryo and we want to give it the best possible chance so we wanted to be sure that we were in the Lord's timing. As we moved forward, everything felt good so we took that as enough of an answer but I was still hoping for something a least a little more solid.
As I drove to my Sono on Thursday, I exited the highway for the clinic and pulled to a stop at the light. I just got a rush or warmth go through my entire body; the same warmth I get whenever the Holy Ghost is strong. I smiled and knew that God is overseeing our lives and our struggles and that no matter what the results of our efforts that it's in His will and we'll be ok.

-->I really want to interject here and talk about adoption for a moment. We try to make it clear that we are incredibly excited to adopt children. We've always just known that adoption would be part of our story whether we had biological children or not. Either way, it's in our future and we couldn't be more happy in our anticipation of that future. There is something about having the experience of pregnancy and delivering a child that Bryce and I made together and that will/would have our eyes or hair or smile, that is so beautiful, how could we not want that?
But it does not make the children we will one day adopt any less beautiful or wonderful. They'll be just as much a part of us as any biological children will/would. We are all alike unto God and I'll love any children placed in our care equally. How they get here really isn't what makes a parent love a child.
For a while, we really thought we might adopt first and then finish up IVF later. We did research and attended an adoption meeting and prayed. Alot. But as good as adoption feels to us, we both knew that now is not the time.
So we're saving all of that goodness for later. It will happen and we think about it frequently. :) It's a beautiful wonderful thought to think that, even now, our future little ones could be coming to earth to start his/her mortal experiences before joining our family.

In the meantime, we are going to do our best to give our last embryo the best chance we can.

I ended up being extra grateful for that warmth I felt on the way to my appointment. Because once it got started (mind you, I've had one before and thought I knew what to expect), I was in so very much pain during the procedure. It hurt so much more than the first time I had it done and it was much longer--making that pain even more difficult to endure.
I cried through most of it. I held my tears back for the first 5 minutes but after that, I was shaking from the pain and tears running into my hair as I wished that I had asked Bryce to come with me. Since it took longer, I started to worry there was something wrong this time. Did the miscarriage cause a lasting problem? If so, would it require a surgery or more meds?
Dr. N is really great though and talked me through it and apologized that I was in pain like every 60 seconds. Thankfully, she said everything looks great. My lining looks perfect and there is not one thing that would keep her from allowing us to move forward. It took extra long and was more painful because she wanted to be as thorough as possible. She didn't want to miss anything. I breathed a breath of relief and thanked Heavenly Father for it. Extra pain is worth knowing we're doing everything we can to make this possible.
After lots of kleenex, new makeup and deep breaths I was able to meet with Jeanette so she could go over our calendar.

THE calendar. The one we have to abide by strictly for the next 2 months. It always reminds me of our very first IVF cycle Teaching Visit when Tiecha went over our calendar with us and taught us how to do all the different injections. Bryce asked what would happen if we happened to miss an injection or medication dose.
She just looked at him with a downright serious face and said "That will Not happen."
HA!
So yeah, we live by THE calendar. :)

This brings us to today, I guess. Now it's simply day-to-day. :) It feels sooo good though. We're back to pursuing our greatest dream!

Any and all prayers/wishes/hopes are extremely appreciated. xoxo