IVF #7: First hospitalization of my life

So we got to the office. Again.

Honestly, it was stragely exciting. Don't get me wrong, I felt like crap and had cried half the day but we were doing something instead of lying in bed so it was exciting in a weird way. Hey, don't judge. ;)

We got there and Dr Goldstein was there first to meet us. He brought us back to an ultrasound room (that we knew very well from all our visits). He asked about symptoms again and went over everything. He poked and prodded my belly to see how firm or soft it was and then I got prepped for an ultrasound.

Dr N arrived and the two of them did an ultrasound while they asked more questions.

Long story short, the ultrasound showed fluid buildup in my abdomen. (Huge OHSS sign)

So between that and the amount of discomfort I had they decided to admit me.

I was worried about the money....Dr N kept saying I needed to not worry about it and the most important thing was that I got the care I needed. But I'm a worry wart and money has been a big thing lately. She did all the paperwork and when she came back out to tell us what to do and where to go, she kept looking at me like she was surprised I was on my feet and that I "looked good" for having so much fluid build up etc. I didn't really know what she meant by it so I wondered if a hospitalization was really necessary.

I asked her.

Again, she indicated it wasn't a choice really and I needed to be hospitalized to make sure things didn't get worse. 

OH! I forgot one HUGE thing:

When she called to check on me earlier, she explained that she was extra concerned because during the retrieval my left ovary (the one crazy packed with follicles) had bled--which doesn't happen super often. But that she had gotten the bleeding under control and the rest of it went smoothly and that it shouldn't have been something to be too concerned about. But that after, when I had woken up and didn't feel great, it worried her more. 

SOOO, the other reason she really wanted me hospitalized was because there was a slight chance my I could have started bleeding internally again and there are all sorts of complications it could cause. (don't ask me what all of them are, because I really don't know, other than Not Good)

So, back to the story. 

Not a choice. Don't worry about the money. Health is more important. OK.

So she sent us to the hospital ER connected to the building next door to the clinic. We had gone there two months before to get my MRI of my abdomen to make sure I had both kidneys and to see if there was a rudimentary side to my uterus. And we went there the next day for a renal ultrasound when the MRI proved inconclusive on the kidneys since they were too high in my abdomen to know for sure. 

(I have both kidneys. Yay! and no rudimentary side to my uterus....just one-half of a uterus, just like Dr. N had suspected after seeing my HSG results.)

Anyway, so we headed over and got checked in (we were told Dr N hadn't arrived yet) and after signing paperwork I couldn't handle standing anymore. I started feeling lightheaded and the pain got worse. I went to sit down and Bryce finished up. By the time he sat next to me, I was 100% sure I was going to pass out. I was white as a ghost, my vision and hearing were going in and out and I kept telling Bryce I was about to go.

He kept telling me to stay with him and kept trying to get me to focus on him. The receptionist brought out a wheelchair and Bryce moved me into it. He said I was soaking wet from sweat and I had taken off my shoes because I was so hot. 

It was then that Dr N came in and asked what was going on. As Bryce explained and I was able to tell her how I was feeling, everything seemed to calm down and my vision and hearing came back.

I just felt like crap after that.

Now, in hindsight, I know what happened. At the time I thought for sure, I was bleeding internally and that's why I was about to pass out. I knew there was something majorly wrong. 

But when she got there she said she thought I'd be ok and that I was probably just anxious.

I thought she was crazy. (or as my YW would say, cra-cra) 

But in hindsight, she was totally right (SO GRATEFUL). By the time they got me to my room and in a bed my body had really calmed down. I never want to experience that again. Let me tell you.

My nurses were amazing. They got me hooked up to an IV because a huge factor in OHSS is dehydration because all the fluid in your body gets pulled into your abdomen and can't be used to keep you hydrated anymore. 

They drew labs every few hours to check all my levels so they could determine if I was still bleeding internally.

They had me fasting the whole night in case any procedure was needed the next day after all the results were in. 

Other than the full on panic attack I had in the waiting room (so ridiculous and so embarrassing, by the way), the scariest and most real moment for me was hearing Bryce on the phone while I was having my labs drawn. He was talking to his best friend and as he started to explain what was going on, I could hear the emotion in his voice, that I hadn't heard before that moment.  I realized then that he was scared and really worried. I'm not used to seeing that in him; he's the ever-positive non-worrier. He's the strong one.

That night our friends Ricky and Elisha came to see us. I was so grateful for the distraction! Although, I didn't enjoy how much they made me laugh.

Laughing hurt more than anything, but it was good for the soul. :)
They're awesome friends for coming especially since Elisha was already quite pregnant. She still sat on my bed with me and made me laugh. :) We were so so grateful they came and stayed so long to keep us company and get our minds off all the crap going on.
I was only there one night. The nurses were awesome and the hospital was great. I really have zero complaints about the care I received there. The labs showed I was not losing blood (big relief!!) and they worked on getting me hydrated. They had me on some pretty good meds to keep me happy.......they were a life saver. It wore off about every 3 hours and I'd have to wait a 4th hour without it before I could get another dose. That hour in between was awful. I can't believe how much pain a little bit of fluid in your abdomen can cause!

I couldn't sit up by myself; even medicated, I couldn't do it alone. Bryce had to practically pick me up and stay there next to me. I had a hard time standing up straight when I walked. I rarely did because it took so much out of me to try. I had air bubbles from the surgery that had gone up into my shoulders. I never want to experience them again. My heart goes out to anyone who's had them before!

(Shanda--I am so grateful that you told me about air pockets from your surgeries! I wouldn't have had any idea what was going on if you hadn't explained what they were to me .... and that was like 4 years ago!!!)

My discharge nurse was the only nurse that knew what air pockets were and how to deal with them. I was so happy when she knew what I was talking about! She was a huge help. The other big event was when they finally allowed me to eat. I'm miserable when I'm not allowed to eat....it makes me cranky! :)

SO that was the first time I'd ever had to go or stay at a hospital. I'm not used to being sick or having any kind of long term issues that would require so much care. My heart, again, goes out to anyone dealing with long term (or short term!) illnesses that require hospitalization, large doses of meds, nurses and pain. This experience has given me a small look at what people go through and have to deal with. I'm so grateful for having good health and I feel completely blessed to have been provided with such quality care while I dealt with my small trial.

Little did we know, we'd be back at the hospital again two days later but we left the hospital that day grateful for so many caring hands!