{FET Cycle #2 and Infertility}

Hello lovelies!

I figure it's time for an update. I know I won't be happy with myself in a few years when I look back and see how much time lapsed between posts and how much I'm probably not recording. I need to get back on the ball!

My third box of IVF meds arrived today. (The first was for the IVF cycle. The second was for our FET cycle and this box is for our second FET cycle).

It's all the same as last time. Birth control for several weeks and then add the Lupron, discontinue the BCP a week later. Lupron injections every morning, estrogen pills 2-3 times a day and change the Vivelle patch on my stomach every 3 days, plus the prenatal vitamin and lots of water and healthy eating...for a month-ish. Then when everything looks good and my numbers are good, I'll discontinue the Lupron, start low-dose aspirin and start Progesterone shots.

The only thing that might be a little different this time is the Progesterone shots. Last time since I had such a horrible reaction in my hip, we only ordered on vial of it. We'll start out on it just like last time and see how it goes. If it starts to get bad again, we'll switch to suppositories (Crinone 8%).

Anyway, so we're at it again. :) We had plenty of time for our hearts to heal....as much as they're going to heal for now at least. I believe the heartache will always be there to some extent but the pain dulls more and more over time.

I can't really explain the healing without tearing up and telling you with every fiber of my being how much I know that Heavenly Father gives us what we need. He knew what I needed to heal and He knew what Bryce needed. I had a very tender spiritual experience the day of the ultrasound when we knew for sure it was a miscarriage. I don't think a blog is the place to write that experience but I can testify to anyone reading this that the Lord is infinitely merciful and knows how to succor his children. Heaven can be so close at times. We felt it very close to us--especially in the week following/during our miscarriage.

I had a second spiritual experience as I was pulling up to our home one evening after a difficult day. Growing up in the home I did, I heard my father express his deep belief that the angels that minister to us and come to help us in our most difficult times are our family members that have already passed on.  I now completely agree with him. The Lord sends angels for us. I know he does.

I've had several opportunities lately to be able to hold brand new little ones. Several of my friends and my sister in law have all recently had babies and they've been kind enough to let me snuggle them. As difficult as it is to see every other woman have a baby and be continually denied the opportunity myself (4 1/2 years...), I still find peace and comfort holding those little ones and rarely pass up the chance to snuggle. :)

Something random but still infertility related:

Pinterest.
Yes Pinterest. They have secret boards, as I imagine y'all already know. You can have up to 3 secret boards at a time. I have 3 already. I have one for Pregnancy, one for Baby Girl and one for Baby Boy. I don't need everyone and their mother seeing how often I pin stuff to those boards and I like choosing what nursery decor I like and not having to share it with the world.... :) Maybe down the road I won't be sensitive about it but for now I'm sure grateful for secret boards! ha!

I also have a couple non-secret boards related to infertility. One is for IVF and one is for Adoption. It's no secret that we plan to adopt at some point. That point is not now but I do think about it frequently. As does my husband. So it's been fun to look around a pin a couple hopeful things about it.

Anyway, that's all I'll ramble about tonight. I just wanted to get those few things in so I have them written down. As usual. :)

Good night! I'm headed in to snuggle up next to the love of my life. :D